donatde blood for the last time in Europe.I´m so nervous for tomorrow that I have my Korean embassy appointment. so weak against this visa stuff.

do you mind opening an account with your name in Munich, that I use to put my money in it. and as well, getting a credit card with your name for that account that I use? I wanted first to do it in UK where my cousin is. but her bank once rejected Iranian funds and I was hoping Germany would be better. I keep my Spanish account till you settle. But after that if you open this one I will transfer the funs in my spanish account to that one. then I can keep a credit card for three years and give you the money I have to put it there whenever you come home.

last day. smell the air of your home...and keep it till you find a new one.

I´m devastated

I'm beginning to think that there's at least one reason to be happy right now:

"I'm getting closer to Ali :)"

or shall I say the only reason?:P

I did not get visa. I will be back in Iran in less than a month. do you think we meet again? do you think we survive this? I´m in my depression mode...

we will not survive

we will not survive

daaram dep misham narafte!

:)))

I quite enjoy the fact that the Chinese girl is so pissed at me that she uses every opportunity to ruin me infront of others. and it's the 2nd time I keep her unanswered.

people are stupidly funny

Chen Xin Fianlly made up her mind to do PHD other than learning Spanish and French... Then her name is just missed in the list....
9 hours ago · Comment · Like

Mahsa Taheran
but you say you knew...so why you decided to do a PhD instead of French and Spanish when you knew they wouldn't put your name??!
Chen Xin
Don't take everything so serious... Mahsa... People are just joking..... Also a suggestion....

Mahsa Taheran
well I didn't get a joking thone, both times you said that sentence.

Chen Xin
................. Because you are serious................. That's the reason you are easily to be angry... and easily to be complaining..

:))The girl is such a kid,..., and though I was tempted to say something like: oh baby, you know everything! or something annoying, I dcided to laugh at this behaviour with Lucia. Though I could be mad as well, cause she is obviously very impolite and FB is where everyone reads everything... but I know she is not worthy of even answering.

khube!!khoshgele!!! in curvehaye shoma hamaro koshte dge

rasti, un axe to o goli kami ironic bud, ehtemalan be kahtere hozure penhane ali. shayad vase man ke har 3 tatuno mishnasam va ba niusha o ali ghadima doos budam ...:*

hafteie dige, in moghe, too otaaghe jadidam khaabam mibare?

emshab natoonestam bemoonam khooneie niusha ina; delam tange mamanam bood.

aakharin 5shanbe shab too tehran.

kamkam daare tars migiratam.

maman, baba, va tanhaaii.

there is one capability that eases the pain of life... learn not to get used to. temporary nature of everything in the stream of life...I´m so lost, as all the memories are running away from me. I can´t touch the moments, they´re turning to memories in near future. It´s a crazy state of being out of your life and looking at it as a future memory happening in present, as I know I will not see these people from Next Monday, I will be disappeared from all the corridors and lunch times and coffee breaks. I don´t know if I want a static picture ... but the vertigo of a life turning and turning is not pleasant now.

the life goes on, but there will be something missing after each breaking point.

Hey hey I missed u>:D< When is ur trip?:*

The annoying time:
I work with one of my classmate for conference and stuff. but he keeps feeling so close to me. he is extremely nice, and does whatever I need. but I see him as a classmate. worst part is when he gets worried if we don´t email or talk for a day. kind of feel like I have to report my day to him. This is getting sometimes absolutely annoying. I even don´t tell my sis or my BF or my parents about my everyday plan. don´t know what to do with it. I try to be nice, but can´t deny that I´m pissed.

Alprazolam?....still have one package to go.

The report found that alprazolam is the most common benzodiazepine for recreational use followed by clonazepam, lorazepam, and diazepam. Those who have used other drugs for leisure are particularly likely to use alprazolam recreationally


I´ll take it

ham faareghotahsil shodam, yani daanehsnaame movaghat gereftam, ham doctor shodam, yani shomaare nezaam gereftam!:D baavaram enmsieh hamechi tamoom shod o khoob pish raft!:D

in 2rooz 2taa lebaase shab kharidam!:D taa hala nadahstam!:D hayejaanangizan:D

European fascism. strong and alive.

hate, is eating my strength.

=))))))))))))someone on FB used a hilarious expression:
BeFuckinUtiful..BeFuckinLoved

awesome:))))))))))))

oh, just that I believe you're much more beautiful and absolutely lovelier than all the girls I've seen in his page. don't worry about it at all.:d

az emshab daaram LD ro ba'ede e saal o nim mizaaram kenaar. ehsaas mikonam ye balaaii saram miaad:D

When I'm getting wiser, or experienced, or frigid

Rouzbehan Amiri September 8 at 5:43pm
yani to vaaghe'an tehraani o khabar nadaadi?

Mahsa Taheran September 8 at 8:28pm
mail zadam bet. ki gofte man tehraanam?

Rouzbehan Amiri September 13 at 3:08am
kojaa'i yani? :))

Mahsa Taheran September 13 at 4:54am
hmm. hastam dge. zendeam. to ham ke engar zendeyi. hamin kafie.kollan ye moddat ye bar khabare zende budan az ham begirim . khube
gharar shod ye ruz ettefaghi bebinim hamo dge.:)

I guess I haven't told you that I have bought a mini-laptop recently. So today I was transferring my files from the pc to this and saw this pic of mine. I used to call these series "Women's Prison" as you can probably know why from my style...; compare it to my current innocent fb pic!!:D Anyway; suddenly I missed smoking so much. You know I can't smoke at home, actually my family don't know that I do. But what I missed was actually the way I could smoke. I can't smoke good any more, I have serious nasal polyps and tehrefore I can't take the smoke inside. So I get so little of Nicotine and moreover it doesn't feel as good as it should, actually feels very bad! That's why I am trying to quit, not that I smoke much, but even that little.

Miss happy smoking days! (which actually were not my happy days!)

Andrea and Isidro are so nice to me these last days of my stay here. I´m sure I´ll miss the time I spend with them..with all the kossher we say (absolute kossher, as good as our discussions in Tehran) we call it nonsense discussions. I should tell you some of them, you´d like these nonsense discussions.yes, I should write them in diary.

do you remember Nazli´s diary from highschool??hilarious

Now, the only thing that makes me abit cal is writing here.
I´m having a bad day. I have lots of works left and I am not capable of doing them. I got my GPA and it´s definitely below the minimum for PhD application. Which pisse me off. Why? cause I stupidly helped everyone in the class with some courses, and they never helped me back with my weak points. Now I have worse marks. although I think I´m more science oriented than most of them, but I can´t study for things that I don´t like or when I don´t like the teacher, and I can´t understand why people think of it as competition and I don´t do. anyways, they piss me off. I´m not gonna care. I´m going to get another master in humanities, even if it´s just possible in Iran. and start over. well, honestly, I admit I feel ¨not smart¨and ¨not talented¨because of my grades. but we know they´re just stupid marks. they have nothing to do with my talent:d

and thenwhy I take so many tasks, more than what I really can do?? you´ll laugh if I name them: I have two paper manuscripts due next Friday, one poster presentation due 23rd September, I´m in a team for some disaster management researches, I ´m writing a paper with my mom. I will be a rapporteur in the conferences I go in Korea. I am co organizing a NASA student contest in Iran. I should write the report for my company as well. and I should get my visa for France and Korea. and at the same time plan Mehrnoosh and Nima´s vacation, and go with them. Well, and I wanted to look for job but I simply don´t have time. what do you think???fuckin hell. and I´m helping a friend for his thesis. (oh, I see 90% of the works are volunteer work. I´m stupid)

and oh I forgot, hazhir told me they wanted to make a political group of leftists in Europe...and that we had to discuss it...and I was so busy to get back to him.:(

you know the problem???????I shouldn´t be that honest. maybe I´d better not answer his wueation that I had arrived or not. maybe...maybe I should just leave him without any trace of myself, and leave myself without any trace of him

I had a great day yesterday. We talked a lot and I really felt him close. And I can't hide how great I felt when he was telling how much he misses me and I should go to Budapest ASAP.

But just some minutes ago, I saw a very beautiful Iranian girl in his fb list from Budapest and I know he's gonna be at her place tonight. Can't stop worrying. I know that I can't be worried all the time about the people he meet and again i know that there is never ever any thing that can make us relaxed about those stuffs. Yet, I get worried knowing how these first weeks people act in their new environment.

I wish the girl was not that beautiful...!lol

religious people are sometimes absolutely annoying. silly. they start discussion with the assumption of god...without a logical base, what the fuck can you tell them??????????I admit that I hate them at these moments. I can´t even hear one more word from these people saying that Islam is originally different with the shit we´ve known by far. they don´t understand how silly they sound.

shit stupid world. shit stupid humans. shit life. stupid efforts to make it better...:((((((((((

got a message on FB from him. he thought I'd been back and hadn't told him. I said I wasn't back. don't know how he got the idea. although this was exactly what I wanted to do. I don't see any reason to tell him.

he is a tranquillizer.

I am feeling much more better today. I had a very bad day yestreday, I was really dep and Ali was not online, it was his first day at uni. And I don't want my mom and dad to see me upset about this cause I really can't get in a discussion with them. I slept most of the day and also chatted with a friend of mine and he kept reminding me that I'm gonna be ok and it's his first days in that new environment and in the end, long distance sucks. Anyway, as far as I remember I just slept and studied a bit german yesterday.

But today is much better. I woke up telling myself that this can't be my life. Though I was still upset that I couldn't talk to Ali last night cause he had a guest for lunch, I tried to get myself busy with the things I should keep in my mind for Munich and the dates and bla bla. It's also Hamid's birthday today and I tried to have a cheerful voice on the phone. I think it gets much worse when I have nothing to do; all the thoughts rush into my head and I remember how much I miss him.

I have 22 more days in Iran and I think it's not that long to waste it by being depressed. I would go after my Veterinary medicine Number (which makes me an official vet!) tomorrow. I also had a great news from one of my friends, and looks like I can get my temporary uni certificate in time.

That's all for now:)

Then the life sucks

I was looking for my BSc codes in my mailbox...
the following lines suck , extremely. 2 years ago:

roozbehan amiri wrote:
salaaaam azizam, khub baashi!
golaabi, baa voa dar morede dokhtare che dar ut mosaahebe kardam, kolli ham topogh zadam!
che khub ke ehsaas kardam hame chiz daare ru revaal miofte! talaash kon va shaadi ham faraamush nakon. azizam, joz naame neveshtan naamehaaye soti baraaye ham befrestim, ya'ni sedaaye hamo zabt konim va mail bezanim, khube na? man az ut mitunam in kaaro bokonam!
khabare khaasi nadaaram , zendegi ma'mulie, delam tang shode baraat, kami opensource khaaham khaand in chan ruz!
aaashghetam, aaashghetam, aaashghetam, aaashghetam, basse yaa baazam begam? take care baby.
:XXXXXX


I know you´re sensitive now.sorry for posting this honey:*

I think the problem is, every time, I feel "this would work cause this relation is different"; while it is not about the relation, but the distance that fucks it anyway.

I have my thesis presentation tomorrow. abit nervous. but more worried about you. maybe we can talk tomorrow???? or if you want to talk about it of course.I just want you to feel good:*

you made me worried

This

won't

work

.

-and no more comments on that-

think you are not fine now. how was it in the airport? how you feel now??
though I was frustrated today, but at the same time half of my mind was occupied with thinking about you. I want everything to be ok for you, and ali as he is a part of your life. :**


I know you are 06re smart and confident and beautiful to need me, and though people usually dont count on me as someone to be with them in difficulties,I want you to know I will do whatever to see you happy and hapy and happy.

you will talk with him very soon again.:***

will you be in Munich end of december?? or you gonna meet Ali somewhere else?
I was thinking of getting my flight back to Iran (if I go to France) and that to meet before leaving. tell me about your schedule